Squires Update 

May 15, 2006

Dear All;

I have prayed about writing the unwriteable and it is now time. I know I have not written anything since October. My New Year's Resolution was to update the blog in January. So much for resolutions. I wanted to be able to inform you, myself, of the funeral services for Rick. These services were finalized last Thursday and now it is time.

A funeral Mass will be held for Richard Squires on May 22, 2006 at 10:30 at Visitation Catholic Church in Tacoma, WA. Many of the memories that you emailed will be read following the Mass. There will be a lunch following the Mass from 11:30 to 1:00. Rick will receive a full military burial service complete with Honor Guard, gun salute, taps and the folding and presentation of the flag at 2:15 that same afternoon at Tahoma National Cemetary in Kent, WA. His ashes will placed in a columnar niche at the cemetary. With him will be his 37 yr chip, an infinity chip, his golf hat, golf ball and a Pacific University Alumni car sticker.

Rick did not wish flowers. Instead he requested that in lieu of flowers, a donation be made to one of the following organizations. Both these oganizations were wonderful. We were both so blessed with the care, and compassion that he received. Madigan Army Medical Center is an awesome place. He received all his chemotherpy and radiation treatments there as well as his in hospital stays. The care he received was extraordinary. Each and every doctor and nurse lived up to the hospital motto...Care with Compassion. In patient Hospice allowed me to be there to love and support Rick during the final 2 weeks without the worry of taking care of him physcially. He had round the clock nurses to care for him with dignity, honor, and respect. They were all angels.

Franciscan Hospice
2901 Bridgeport Way West
University Place, WA 98466

Colonel Patrick Madigan, MD Foundation
PO Box 97215
Lakewood, WA 98497

A huge thank you for all your thoughts, prayers, memories, cards and flowers that you have already sent. I can not tell you how much they mean to me. I was reading one of the memories from one of you that I had forgotten all about. It started me crying and then I ended up laughing because that's how I always wound up with that wonderful guy.

Connie and grandson, Richard, will be staying on with me. There really is AA in Tacoma, WA and I have all of you. My sponsor tells me I can do it one day at a time. I believe her.


May 7, 2006

It is with immense sadness and pain that I write this entry.
On May 2, 2006 at approximately 1644 my father passed away. He went peacefully and with no pain. Mom was able to sit with him everyday and talk to him. He could hear us but his ability to respond declined daily and then he had became comatose. I did my best to give comfort to Mom and Dad by reading to them from my Bible. Mom said Dad would like that. Mom stayed there the entire day and then his brother Larry woudl come every night adn sleep there in the room with Dad. He was never alone and family was always there with him. My mother and I were next to Dad at the end and I prayed for the Lord to please guide him on his journey. Reciting his favorite verse John 3: 16 over and over because I did not know what else to do. But to me those last moments were a gift and I am so grateful that the Lord allowed me to be there. His breathing became shallow and finally it was no longer there. He peacefully went to be with his heavenly Father and is now at peace. Of course Mom and I cried and told Dad we loved him and how much we would miss him. The love and pain on Moms' face at the loss of the love of her life was so painful that I cried even longer and harder. Mom and I are now numb. We feel as if this is someone else's life and it is not real. (They say numb is good.)

The Hospice House was wonderful!!!! It allowed my mother to spend quality time with Dad and be there with him without having to worry taking care of his special needs. They provided for not just his needs but her needs as well. Nurses came and gave words of encouragement and hugs. They provided a care like no other she had seen. Mom says their work is a real calling and ministry of sorts. When Dad passed away they had a toast in his room with apple cider and we shared stories and toasted to his life. It is the way they are able to deal with the passing of their patients together with the families My mother and I want to express our deepest appreciation, gratitude, and love for each of you. The strength you have given us is what we needed to sustain us through all of this. Knowing we are loved and not alone that there are others who loved him as much as us is a great comfort.

We do not have a date for the service yet but I will be posting the address to send donations to instead of sending flowers. Dad would want it that way.

Blessings to all of you and yours,
Connie and family

Monday, May 1, 2006

Hello everyone-- Dad is still unresponsive and sleeps. The staff at Hospice say this is normal as he is entering the final stages. It pains me deeply and at times the tears fall as if the damn to my soul has been opened and there is no end to the sadness that pours from it. They say it will be any day now that Dad will join our Heavenly Father. Mom is doing ok. She crys alot, talks about memories and sits in his room just watching, or reading or talking. I heard her say to someone that this is not the end of her life but the start of a new life that the Lord has planned for her. I like that.
That is all for tonight.
God Bless-- Connie and family

April 30, 2006

Good evening to you all-- it is hard for me to write this but it was decided today to remove the feeding tube. It was only giving minimal nourishment and was going to cause more harm than good. So with the advice of two doctors my mother requested the feeding tube be removed. What does this mean for us? Well, they can not tell us exactly how much longer Daddy will be with us. He has not woken in a day and a half but sleeps with no pain. He still has warmth adn color in his feet and the nurse said that is a good sign. But in the end we all know the out come. We now wait and pray. Mom is holding up as I am but we both feel like this is not real and is happening to someone. The love they have for one another is greater today than the day they got married.
My parents have been like two peas in a pod. Never saw one with out the other but soon the Lord will be calling Dad home. When this event happens I will put it out on the blog as well as service information, etc.
I remember as a little girl my Dad chasing me and my sister around with Aramis cologne on his hands saying he was going to get us with the "snake oil" and us laughing and runnign away.
He is a loving an caring father adn I will miss him something aweful.
Well, that is all for today. I will keep you posted.
Love and Blessings--- Connie and family

Saturday, April 29, 2006, 11:59 pm

Hello everyone-- Here is the latest news. Mom and Auntie Roberta went to see Dad this morning. They told me when they got there he was sitting in a chair with a nurse next to the chair. She said he had been sitting there for about an hour. He then wanted to get back into bed and he went to sleep. He is getting harder to wake up and his breathing to me appears more labored and at times it looks shallow. He slept all day and was still sleeping when Mom and I left at 9 pm tonight. He is still on the feeding tube and oxygen. He is begining to look more pale than when I first got here and is slowing down. I believe soon he will be going home to be with our Heavenly Father where he will finally have peace. Tonight Mom and I were talkig and I told her it is like I am in looking in through a glass window at someone elses life and it is not real. I am feeling very numb and feel as if this is not happening to me and my family. My father means so much to me and it just does not seem possible that this is all real. Mom said she knew what I was talking about.
Well, that is really all the news from here for now. I will post another tomorrow even if it is to say the same thing as today. I want to keep you all updated.
Love and God Bless-- Connie and family

Friday, April 28, 2006

Good Evening Everyone-- Well a few days ago the report about Dad from the doctor was 2-5 days left blessing our lives. Well, wouldn't you know that Dad made a liar out of them!!! =) It has been longer than that and this mornig he was sitting up in chair when Mom got there. He told her that he was ready to go and wanted to get out of there. =) However, this afternoon he lost his steam and slept alot. They have had to increase his Ativan to the maximum doseage due to his aggitation is increasing. They had to remove his feeding tube for awhile today due to he kept trying to pull the tube out. He does know people from time to time and today was a good day that he knew people. Mom said he was responsive, and lucid. However, when I went this evening he was hallucinating and sleeping mostly. But again he is in NO pain. Mom's faith and love for Dad are I believe keeping her going. The nurse commented tonight that Dad had a strong will and I told her she had no idea and that it is the driving force that made him the best damn clinician social worker services had ever had. =) I am doing ok now too. I cry off and on. Although I have my moments where I remember the past and the future trys to creep in there to with what will never be but then I am reminded that today is what is important and preasious due to it is another 24 hours that nothing horrible has happend and I have been blessed with seeing my Dad. The nurses said last night Dad was trying to get himself up and it took a few of them to get him calm and back in bed but they said that is part of this process. I am praying for all of us and I know that the Lord is here and will help all of us get through this time.
That is all for today so I will sign off. More tomorrow.
Love and Blessings-- Connie and family

Friday, April 28, 2006

Hello everyone- As you can imagine my days are crossing and the dates are getting all screwed up in my head but I will try to keep them straight so the dates I put up here may not be correct and for that I apologize.
My Dad is having periods where he remembers people but it is different from moment to moment as I am sure some of you know. Yesterday he ate a fourth of a popsicle and then went back to sleep. He got up to walk around his area as much as he could with the feeding tube in place and then went to sleep. Mom and Auntie Roberta just left to go be with him and I will go this afternoon to sit with him. He can barely talk because it is so hard for him so we commmunicate with jestures, winks, smiles, and squeezing hands. When I go I just sit and read my Bible out loud to him. Mom says he would like that and it is a comfort for them. I find this time I am able to return the love he so freely gave to all and use the Language of the Heart to communicate with him. I let him know people love him and are thinking of him. Thank you for all the notes you are putting in this blog. I am printing all of them so that when the time comes and Mom is able she can read them and perhaps keep them. I know she is very grateful to all of you for all your loving support through all of this as am I. I will update again soon.
God Bless-- Connie and family

April 27, 2006

Hello everyone-- Well about today. I went to see Dad and he was sleeping. He is being given Ativan due to increased aggitation. He is entering the last stages of this and is hallucinating quite often now. He does not recognize people so we tell him who we are before we speak. He can hear us so this afternoon Mom had an appointment and I sat with him. I read from my Bible, read a letter from a friend to him and just talked to him about everything that is going on with the Blog and life. He slept some what peacefully and only woke once to a hallucination but I told him it woudl be ok and he quieted down when I todl him who I was and that I was there to be with him so he woudl not be alone. His brother, Larry, continues to go every night to sleep near him adn calls in the morning to tell Mom how Dad did through the night. His breathing is labored but that is in part due to his lungs being damaged. He is in NO pain thank the Lord. The Lord is keeping all of us in His loving arms and that is why I think we are all not loosing our minds. We trust that the Lord is taking care of everything and we treasure each 24 hours we get to spend with Dad. Mom is an amazing women and is holding up quite well through all of this. Her sister Roberta is here to offer support and that has been a blessing for her. I have friends in Kansas that I talk to as well as Mom and that has been a blessing for me. Well, let us all pray that tonight is uneventful and that the Lords Will be done for Dad. God bless everyone and I will update in the morning just as soon as we get an update on how tonight went.
Hugs and Love to all-- Connie and family

April 26, 2006

Hello everyone- Connie here to give you the latest. Things are not going so well. Dad has now started to decline rapidly and is now having difficulty recognizing people.

The Lord/HP will be with all of us as this is HIS PLAN NOT OURS. He has a plan for everyone and whether we like this road or not this is the road He has layed out not US. My mother spoke to the doctor today and she asked him how much longer. He told her 2 to 5 days. )))sigh(((( ))tears falling((( My father means so much to so many and I know that this immediate family will not be the only ones to feel such a great loss of such a great man.

Dad has given it his best shot and now the time is coming for him to "Let Go and Let God."
We believe he will be doing that soon. He has loved all of us and has shown all of us how to work hard, determination and love of others can help us to get what we want for ourselves and our families. I am not sure what else to say.... We are spending our time at the Hospice house with Dad these days and my son has been able to tell his Papa that he loves him and Dad seems to understand. Although his moments of confusion are becoming more and more.

He told Mom today "I love Sharon".

I will post again tomorrow but I can tell you now his condition is deterorating rapidly. Please continue to be in prayer from us and each other as we are for you becaue we know you all love him like we love him.

God Bless-- Connie and family

April 25, 2006

Hello all- Connie here. Yesterday went ok. Dad is in no pain and he slept most of the day yesterday. My Uncle Larry has been spending hte nights with Dad. Uncle Larry came by today to say hello. Dad last night while I was visiting was reaching to touch things that we can not see and handing them to me. I would say to him " Ok Daddy, I will take care of this for you." That is pretty much how he was last night with Uncle Larry. Uncle Larry says he is not sure how much longer Dad will be with us and neither do I but I do know the Lord is good and he is taking care of everything in HIS time NOT ours. I love my Dad very much adn am treaursing this time I am being given to be with him. Dad slept well last night adn has not been getting sick but sleeping. That is all for today. I willupdate tomorrow morning. Keep those wonderful stories coming. I am printinng them all so we may treasure them for a long time.
Love to all- Connie and family

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